It’s funny how your grandparents become your favorite people as you get older…and not the set of grandparents that you would think.
It’s actually even funnier how everything you thought was just mediocre or okay becomes increasingly valuable as you mature. The things like constant and supportive love, a classic meal, a pure and simple drink, or a decades-old friend (who may not be as fun as your other ones) morph into the most alluring place to side. The long term consequences of a steady favorite are completely underestimated in this day and age of instant digital gratification, whether achieved by smartphones or rapid fire messages in the latest applications.
When it comes to privilege, the community that we are fortunate or unfortunate to come of age in, a point of time is reached in which we must acknowledge that it has no bearing on the communities we can now choose to join. This is not to be confused with forgetting from where you come from, respecting the adversity and advantages arisen in the conventions of your provenance. But, adulthood begs proactive habits and cognizant effort towards building a life that is meaningful. Privilege seriously deters me away from this in some ways. I am working on this inconsistently and must kick myself in the ass so I can build something I want. For a while there, I was focused on my goals but then nothing worked out the way I wanted. Dangerously, I forgot to acknowledge the my lofty attempts at the success I still dream of to this day.
I can’t forget how hard I worked towards not getting what I wanted. I wish I could cry but somehow my body is reminding me of my strength when I don’t tear up. Biologically, perhaps my system is responding, “fuck your tears, I’m not going to let you have them.” Thanks.
Progress is caffeinated by mistakes, which I must repeatedly acknowledge is not the sole factor of failure…